Showdown with Shed

Well yeah, this is part two.  We did have a talk with Shed this past Sunday evening.  It took me a good three days to get it together enough to be able to speak with out venom and even then I’m not sure I fully succeeded.  Not going to bore you with a blow by blow, the results of the conversation weren’t altogether satisfactory.  Shed was rather defensive and quantified a lot of his apology.  But then again, he was facing two angry parents, and who wouldn’t get defensive in that situation.

What troubles me the most is that he feels his behavior was okay, just the fact that it was directed to a fragile Vale was the element that was wrong, and I couldn’t disagree more.  We never know everything that’s going on inside someone so we should always make an effort to be amiable, no matter if you’re playing sports or not.  Now I guess in a football game, a structured, official game, smack talk gets pretty ugly.  It’s not personal, it’s part of the game and I guess it’s to be expected.  But a pick up game amongst friends/members of the youth group… where does ugliness come in to play?  Be competitive, try your best, play darn hard but denigrate other people while you’re doing it?  I’m not trying to raise pansies but uh, I can’t see how that fits into a Christian’s life.  Shed said he calls his friends ‘loser’ and whatnot and I guess little jabs like that between friends is between them.  But Vale isn’t his friend.  Vale is 14 and Shed is 18 or 19.  Since Shed’s apology was so measured, I’m concerned that in another instance this behavior will return. 

Shed’s mother came into the conversation and that was hard because I love his mother so much and have so much respect for her that I was concerned that she would be hurt hearing what we had to say.  I would be appalled if I knew my sons acted like that, especially to younger children!  She did tear up but I pray we made it known to her that we would give her son room to grow, and we will.  I hope it didn’t damage our friendship.

I plan on writing a brief thank you note to Shed thanking him for listening to our concerns and giving us his time.  I know that this may seem very generous, but really we do desire this young man to grow in Christlikeness and to have learned from this incident, not only for Vale’s sake but for his.  But between you and me, I don’t trust him as far as I could throw him.  I forgive him, but I am not forgetting.  I’ll be watching him like a hawk.