Dear Followers... do me a favor? -
For Vale’s birthday I got him two tickets to see OneRepublic in June, yeah… they’re lawn seats.. I’m trying to do a small twitter campaign to get their attention… maybe they’ll give him a shout out during the concert…maybe, MAYBE they’ll allow him backstage. I’m going to be writing an open…
Dear Members of OneRepublic,
Just to say, straight out of the gate, that I recognize that you must receive countless pieces of mail similar to the letter I’m writing. My hope is that you’ll take a moment and read this one as well. I doubt you’ll find it a time waster.
I’d like to tell you a little bit about my son. For this blog, we call him Vale, but that’s not his real name. He’s a budding musician and when asked what the dream is, he said “to be the next Ryan Tedder”. Why? He wants to make music. He wants to write, to produce, work with other artists… and yeah he wouldn’t mind being a front man for an awesome band. He doesn’t just want to be the proverbial ‘rock star’, he wants to be a musician, an element he thinks OneRepublic exemplifies. He likes OneRepublic in particular due to your use of classical elements and instruments. He finds that clever, musically speaking.
If you’ve read anything about this blog, you know that it’s an entity dedicated to help families with sons dealing with sexual abuse, at situation we’re all to familiar with. Vale was in and out of the foster care system from ages 2-10. He lived in one home from ages 6-8 and was repeatedly obligated to perform sexual acts for the foster parent’s grandson, with whom he shared a room. It is also strongly indicated that this grandson ‘shared’ Vale with a friend, who raped him.
Vale came to us when he was 8; no one knew about his abuse. He kept it a secret for 6 years. When he was nearly 14, the secret came pouring out simply because he couldn’t contain it any longer. To cope, Vale resorted to cutting, an effort to punish himself for deeds that were not his fault. He also stopped eating, again, believing that he didn’t deserve it. He fell apart and we nearly lost him to a suicide plan he had concocted.
Well that’s all the bad news….
Now for the good news:
It’s been 3 years, and he’s in an entirely different place, and is an entirely different young man. Through a lot of pain and struggle he is finding recovery, he is thriving. Moreover, he has put himself out there to help other survivors, to let them know they are not alone. He has gone from a tragic statistic, to advocate.
He spoke at a candlelight vigil. He’s been written about in the newspaper twice, once in the Scranton Times and once in the Times Leader of Wilkes-Barre. Both papers used his real name, and in the latter, he allowed himself to be photographed. He was even highlighted in an international news article by Yahoo! sports writer, Eric Adelson. Even TV interviews were conducted, although they were quite outside his comfort zone. He doesn’t want anyone else to go through what he went through. Being a sexual assault victim, is one thing. Being a *male* sexual assault victim is another, it lends it’s own stigma. Vale wants to dispel it.
Vale is a honorary street team member of Just Tell and a Junior Ambassador for Marley’s Mission. He was also a member of an all male panel which discussed the ramifications of Male Sexual Abuse at the first Sexual Abuse Conference at Penn State University.
So why am I telling you all of this, what do I want. Well it’s simple. I am hoping that you would reach out to him in some way, to encourage him on his musical journey. I hope that you’ll see what an amazing young man he is and invest a bit of your time to giving him a boost in some way. …the big dream? To spend a few days with you seeing how the music industry works, how you write music, how you produce it. That would be beyond what he could even try to articulate. I realize that what I am suggesting is huge and probably outside of the scope of what’s possible. The attainable dream; perhaps to meet you and spend a little time backstage at the Camden, NJ concert on June 28th. He received a pair of tickets to this concert for his birthday. Maybe *maybe* even to bring his guitar and play a little bit. But in all honesty, I recognize that I’m asking a lot and many many people ask you for things. If you could just give him a shout out from stage, telling him to work on his musical discipline and theory, that would be outstanding. Or even a phone call in your limited spare time would be awesome! He would be thrilled!!
In conclusion, I hope this letter captures your attention and you would see what an amazing kid I have. Although he’s been at such a disadvantage for most of his young life, he still endeavors to encourage others. Perhaps you could be an encouragement to him as well.
Thank you again, for your time.
For Vale’s birthday I got him two tickets to see OneRepublic in June, yeah… they’re lawn seats.. I’m trying to do a small twitter campaign to get their attention… maybe they’ll give him a shout out during the concert…maybe, MAYBE they’ll allow him backstage. I’m going to be writing an open letter to them tomorrow and post it here and on twitter. Would you guys do your best to blow it up? Just share the letter all over the place, hashtag them, shout it up on Twitter? It would make his decade!
Thank you everyone… you’re the best!
Think Sam had a tough day in school today. He’s sleeping on Kringle’s bed! (at Níl aon tinteán mar do thinteán féin)
Eating dinner makes him sad… (at Níl aon tinteán mar do thinteán féin)
From the Mouths of Rapists: The Lyrics of Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines -
What an excellent essay. Please be warned, lots and lots of triggers.
I love this face, this kid. I’m very proud to be his mom. (at Krispy Kreme Doughnuts)
Theater is exhausting work… #PAI #lesmiserables #theater (at Níl aon tinteán mar do thinteán féin)
I’ve taken my beating
My tongue is tied
My feet are broken
But I tried… — Words my son wrote…
VBS sure is fun, bring your friends in one by one… (at Independent Bible Church)
A few years back, posting notes on Facebook was the big thing… like poking was the big thing.. having those boards that you put ‘pins’ on was a big thing.. a Facebook fad. The last message I got reminded me of that.
Well during the list fad, I wrote the following on 1/18/09 and it’s all still pretty accurate.
25 Somewhat random and brutally honest things about me
1. Firstly, I love the Lord Jesus Christ; yet I’m a terrible servant.
2. If I could be like any Biblical character, it would be Barnabas (try not to laugh).
3. I’m struggling with discontentment; a fact recently revealed to me. So pray for me, I’m working on it
4. I still think my husband is *really* cute.
5. Coffee, to me, is one of the major food groups. I adore coffee, seriously.
6. One of my favorite foods is mushrooms.
7. I hate myself for being fat, in fact it depresses me so much, I’m gunna go have another cookie.
8. I’m afraid of those giant windmills. I don’t have a problem with them environmentally or anything like that, I’m just literally afraid of them. They freak me out.
9. I spent 8 days on the psych ward of CMC for severe clinical depression, OCD and a borderline personality disorder. I was liberated from all that by Christ.
10. I have a pretty sordid past (hence the mental disorders). But again, I was set free from all that bondage.
11. I hope and pray that all my kids go into some sort of full time ministry.
12. I want to lead one friend and one family member to the Lord this year. Maybe one of you!
13. I have a mystery brother. He’s a half brother I’ve never met, fathered by the father I’ve never met. It’s really weird.
14. I absolutely love to laugh. In fact, if I have to poke fun at myself to encourage those around me to laugh, I’ll do it in a heartbeat.
15. I love going to the movies. I enjoy the whole movie theater experience.
16. I’m the quintessential what you see is what you get kinda gal. I don’t put on any type of airs to “fit in”. You don’t like what you see, you can always walk away.
17. I tend to shoot from the hip far too often. Gets me into a lot of trouble. I’m getting better at it though. Or is it my aim is just getting better.
18. I hate living up to someone else’s preconceived ideas of who I should be and how I should act.
19. I don’t believe simply having a familial title (father, grandfather, aunt etc) should entitle you to anything; even respect. It should be earned.
20. I adore rock n roll music. But I know it’s not the right thing for me, so I reject it. Can’t sing praise to God from the same mouth your singing, “My Humps”.
21. I can’t stand a messy house. It makes my brain feel messy.
22. I can play the tin whistle, somewhat decently.
23. Some of the most interesting folks to be around are youth. Their potential is so inspiring.
24. Sandwiches are the world’s most perfect food. I could eat em breakfast, lunch and dinner.
25. I would prefer to have a few close good friends than 100’s of acquaintances.
Anonymous asked: Tag, you’re it! The rules are to state ten random facts about yourself. Then send this to the fifteen nicest people on tumblr! :D
Well, I’m not the kind of person that forwards things like this. But I will answer it! !0 random facts; 5 about me, 5 about Vale…
loveyourself-youareworthit-deac asked: Hello :) I just wanted to tell you what a lovely blog you have here. I do agree there is not enough help and support for boys out there in relation to mental illness. I will always be here to talk to your son if he needs someone. Have a lovely weekend and God bless ❤❤ xx
You are so incredibly kind. Thank you for reaching out to us. We always enjoy hearing from people. And thank you for recognizing that boys are pretty disenfranchised. We’re working on changing that!
Vale… looking healthy