One of my followers recently liked one of my older posts, one where I posted an article that was written about Vale in our local paper. You can see the post right here. So of course, I reread it and something struck me.
In the article, the author mentioned how Vale’s abuser would manipulate him for the privilege of playing video games and/or the abuser’s guitar. And I guess I’m feeling maternal right now, because I just need to state this clearly. Yes the abuser presented it as a quid pro quo, but the reality is, in this situation there is no refusing. Power isn’t always physically enforced, it can be subtle and just as demanding. Anyway…
I was thinking about how Vale won’t eat blackberries, because it reminds him too much of where he lived when he was in his abuser’s clutches. What if, because of this situation, he never picked up a guitar again? These days, he has a guitar in his hands every moment he can, he has such an innate passion for it and a God given talent to boot, it’s ridiculous. How tragic it would have been if, because of the price he had to pay in order to play guitar in his earlier days, he refused to ever touch one again? Everyone would have suffered the loss, because he creates such beauty on that instrument. I hate to sound like a cliche, but it’s nearly transcendental.
Makes me wonder, how many other talented artist, musicians, doctors, inventors were we deprived of because their love for their gift was spoiled in youth? How do we know that we don’t have our generation’s Leonardo DiVinci out there right now as a 5 year old? But because he or she is being tormented over the use of an artist’s brush, we will never know the genius that could blossom from those tiny hands. What if the cure for cancer was lost because a wee one simply wanted to look into a microscope, but had to pay a horribly ugly price? Heavy thoughts for so early in the morning. And I haven’t even had a second cup of coffee.
In the end, I get some type of satisfaction of knowing that Vale is mastering the guitar now. What sweet revenge, no?
In a large sense, I feel so guilty posting day after day on Twitter about the letter. I feel like I may be spamming the snot out of these poor people. But the reality is probably that there are so many people posting, posting posting, that it’s easy for my little note to get blown by. These are busy men with a hectic tour schedule, and we’re only one small voice among thousands that are clamoring for their attention. I mostly tweet directly to One Republic and Eddie Fisher, but I do tweet the other band members occasionally. E. Fisher favorited two tweets that mentioned the letter, so I am hoping that means he actually read it. We have a couple of months until June 28th, so I’ll just keep plugging away.
Vale is doing fantastic. His eating is so good that I wonder if we’re really looking at that elusive ‘R’ word that I dread saying…. recovery. I avoid thinking it in case we’re not and then I’m disappointed. Nothing like a true defeatist attitude, right? He’s gaining some weight, eating with very little actually no pushback. He even serves himself ice cream nearly every day. It’s rather amazing. He was even on the track team for a while, but due to his performance academically, we had to pull him from it. That was very hard, because I know he loves track so much. We’ve even absconded with his instruments, because he’d come home from school and play and play and neglect homework. *sigh* I understand his passion for music, believe me, I do. Heck I’m a classically trained soprano for cryin’ out loud! But I’m old enough to know now that an education is very important. We have set up a deal that he can earn back on instrument a week by showing me his French and Chemistry homework. So send him a note virtually kickin’ his butt to get his homework and studying done, okay? Maybe we’ll post a video of him playing. Now THAT would be groovy!
You want a video of Vale playing? Tweet him up to One Republic, will ya? Send us a message, we always love to hear from you!
Eating disorders ruined years of Kyle Carter's life, starting when he was just 11 and bullies at school mocked his weight. He spent years in hospital refusing to eat, including more than a year in a specialist residential unit, miles away from his family in South Shields. Now 17 and in recovery, he reaches out to other people with the illness all over the world, writing poems and messages on Facebook to help them feel less alone.
Rape has never been about seduction. It has always been and will always be about power.
"We must start protecting our boys. We chastise, blame, arrest and murder the damaged men they often become, but these men were once children. They were boy children who were beaten, ignored, manipulated. Raped."
Speak Your Silence is a nonprofit on a mission to conquer the stigma of child sexual abuse. 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused prior to the age…
I don’t typically do the whole Man Crush Monday thing. But I am this month. April is Childhood Abuse Awareness Month as well as Sexual Assault Awareness Month and I wanna just highlight some awesome people who do so much as advocates. So I guess my first MCM is Matt Pipkin. Matt runs a wonderful organization called Speak Your Silence which simply encourages a conversation about CSA. That is so important because the biggest weapon a pedophile has is silence. Not only that, but SYS also provides grants to recovering victims to pay for therapeutic services. Yep that’s just awesome. It was a total privilege and honor to have met you Matt. You rock! Below is a video of Matt talking all about #thestitch You seriously want to get involved.
I have forgotten how much I enjoy writing. I’ve just had such a white knuckled grip on life that I left no space for this.
Went to the grocery store yesterday to… get this… get groceries. I know, earth shattering right? I wanted to get supplies to help Vale stay on the track team; higher calorie, nutrient dense, portion controlled snackage. I offered to put up a list of snack options, combinations, and the calorie count so he can stay on top of what he needs to do in order for success. So far he doing his best to make good choices, at least from what I’ve seen. You can definitely see the strain on him about it. He’s made such strides in his recovery, I wonder if this is too much too soon.
This morning I offered light cream to put on his hot cereal. Four tablespoons have 120 calories, easy peasy. He pushed the cereal aside as if to say, “I can’t even think about this.” Fortunately Grey, who is also competing this spring (in tennis) reached for the light cream. That seemed to make it easier on Vale, and he followed suit.
I have to admit, I’m thinking quite a bit on this whole OneRepublic thing. I kind of imagine the phone ringing, I answer and I hear “Hello, this is Ryan Tedder of OneRepublic” on the other line. I have to think that it would be a life changer for Vale, but I guess I’m wondering, what kind of change? Would it inspire him to really dig in to his music? The kid is ridiculously talented, but that only takes you so far. You also need discipline, technique and theory under your belt to truly *make* music. I’ve also noted that Ryan Tedder attended a private Christian high school and a Christian university. I wonder how much his faith plays out in his life now. One could surmise from the music that I’ve heard him play and write that there is a Christian influence. There is little to no swearing, no blatantly overt sexual themes…. The influence of Tedder in this area could be fantastic. Vale still has some issues with God, although he can see how God has provided and encouraged Vale’s music, still does in fact. Perhaps, Tedder, a man and musician that Vale truly admires, could demonstrate that there is room for both God and music. That alone could change Vale’s entire life.
Of course, I also feel completely ridiculous thinking on something so far flung and perhaps ridiculous to consider. What a dreamer, no?
Hello! If you reblogged my Open Letter to OneRepublic and have not received a thank you from me, it’s because I couldn’t find your ‘ask’ box. Let me know and I would be happy to send you a personal thank you. Please keep reblogging, if you’re on Twitter, please tweet. It would be so incredible if this happens!
Vale’s appointment at CHOP went well yesterday. He was cleared for track, which is fantastic! However, he was down 10 pounds, which wasn’t so fantastic. His vitals were stable which is why I’m thinking he was cleared. He needs to gain 5 pounds back and consume at least a 4000 calorie diet. If his vitals tank or he looses one pound, he’s off the team. The stress and pressure were evident all over him today. He struggled over breakfast which is something I haven’t seen him do in ages. He’s doing so well, and admittedly I worry that this strain, this anxiety will set him back.
Of course, Mom will do everything she can to support him.
Last night, Eddie Fisher, drummer of OneRepublic favorited a tweet containing my Open Letter to OneRepublic. Now please understand, I’m 46 years old… I’m VERY into music having studied it myself for many years. I enjoy OneRepublic’s music quite a bit. However, I’m not a major fan girl. Not of any band or musical act. But this? This has me hopping about, practically squealing like a middle schooler!
I’ll keep you posted on our progress…
Today, we’re off to Philly to check Vale’s progress with his eating disorder. Anorexia is just the ‘gift’ that keeps on giving… &*%&@# and other sundry swear words.
I just want to give out a big huge thank you for those of you who are liking and reblogging my Open Letter to OneRepublic. It’s just fantastic to see those notes building and building. I will keep you informed as to whether we hear from anyone from the band! Finger’s crossed!! <3
For Vale’s birthday I got him two tickets to see OneRepublic in June, yeah… they’re lawn seats.. I’m trying to do a small twitter campaign to get their attention… maybe they’ll give him a shout out during the concert…maybe, MAYBE they’ll allow him backstage. I’m going to be writing an open…
Just to say, straight out of the gate, that I recognize that you must receive countless pieces of mail similar to the letter I’m writing. My hope is that you’ll take a moment and read this one as well. I doubt you’ll find it a time waster.
I’d like to tell you a little bit about my son. For this blog, we call him Vale, but that’s not his real name. He’s a budding musician and when asked what the dream is, he said “to be the next Ryan Tedder”. Why? He wants to make music. He wants to write, to produce, work with other artists… and yeah he wouldn’t mind being a front man for an awesome band. He doesn’t just want to be the proverbial ‘rock star’, he wants to be a musician, an element he thinks OneRepublic exemplifies. He likes OneRepublic in particular due to your use of classical elements and instruments. He finds that clever, musically speaking.
If you’ve read anything about this blog, you know that it’s an entity dedicated to help families with sons dealing with sexual abuse, at situation we’re all to familiar with. Vale was in and out of the foster care system from ages 2-10. He lived in one home from ages 6-8 and was repeatedly obligated to perform sexual acts for the foster parent’s grandson, with whom he shared a room. It is also strongly indicated that this grandson ‘shared’ Vale with a friend, who raped him.
Vale came to us when he was 8; no one knew about his abuse. He kept it a secret for 6 years. When he was nearly 14, the secret came pouring out simply because he couldn’t contain it any longer. To cope, Vale resorted to cutting, an effort to punish himself for deeds that were not his fault. He also stopped eating, again, believing that he didn’t deserve it. He fell apart and we nearly lost him to a suicide plan he had concocted.
Well that’s all the bad news….
Now for the good news:
It’s been 3 years, and he’s in an entirely different place, and is an entirely different young man. Through a lot of pain and struggle he is finding recovery, he is thriving. Moreover, he has put himself out there to help other survivors, to let them know they are not alone. He has gone from a tragic statistic, to advocate.
He spoke at a candlelight vigil. He’s been written about in the newspaper twice, once in the Scranton Times and once in the Times Leader of Wilkes-Barre. Both papers used his real name, and in the latter, he allowed himself to be photographed. He was even highlighted in an international news article by Yahoo! sports writer, Eric Adelson. Even TV interviews were conducted, although they were quite outside his comfort zone. He doesn’t want anyone else to go through what he went through. Being a sexual assault victim, is one thing. Being a *male* sexual assault victim is another, it lends it’s own stigma. Vale wants to dispel it.
Vale is a honorary street team member of Just Tell and a Junior Ambassador for Marley’s Mission. He was also a member of an all male panel which discussed the ramifications of Male Sexual Abuse at the first Sexual Abuse Conference at Penn State University.
So why am I telling you all of this, what do I want. Well it’s simple. I am hoping that you would reach out to him in some way, to encourage him on his musical journey. I hope that you’ll see what an amazing young man he is and invest a bit of your time to giving him a boost in some way. …the big dream? To spend a few days with you seeing how the music industry works, how you write music, how you produce it. That would be beyond what he could even try to articulate. I realize that what I am suggesting is huge and probably outside of the scope of what’s possible. The attainable dream; perhaps to meet you and spend a little time backstage at the Camden, NJ concert on June 28th. He received a pair of tickets to this concert for his birthday. Maybe *maybe* even to bring his guitar and play a little bit. But in all honesty, I recognize that I’m asking a lot and many many people ask you for things. If you could just give him a shout out from stage, telling him to work on his musical discipline and theory, that would be outstanding. Or even a phone call in your limited spare time would be awesome! He would be thrilled!!
In conclusion, I hope this letter captures your attention and you would see what an amazing kid I have. Although he’s been at such a disadvantage for most of his young life, he still endeavors to encourage others. Perhaps you could be an encouragement to him as well.
For Vale’s birthday I got him two tickets to see OneRepublic in June, yeah… they’re lawn seats.. I’m trying to do a small twitter campaign to get their attention… maybe they’ll give him a shout out during the concert…maybe, MAYBE they’ll allow him backstage. I’m going to be writing an open letter to them tomorrow and post it here and on twitter. Would you guys do your best to blow it up? Just share the letter all over the place, hashtag them, shout it up on Twitter? It would make his decade!
A few years back, posting notes on Facebook was the big thing… like poking was the big thing.. having those boards that you put ‘pins’ on was a big thing.. a Facebook fad. The last message I got reminded me of that.
Well during the list fad, I wrote the following on 1/18/09 and it’s all still pretty accurate.
25 Somewhat random and brutally honest things about me
1. Firstly, I love the Lord Jesus Christ; yet I’m a terrible servant. 2. If I could be like any Biblical character, it would be Barnabas (try not to laugh). 3. I’m struggling with discontentment; a fact recently revealed to me. So pray for me, I’m working on it 4. I still think my husband is *really* cute. 5. Coffee, to me, is one of the major food groups. I adore coffee, seriously. 6. One of my favorite foods is mushrooms. 7. I hate myself for being fat, in fact it depresses me so much, I’m gunna go have another cookie. 8. I’m afraid of those giant windmills. I don’t have a problem with them environmentally or anything like that, I’m just literally afraid of them. They freak me out. 9. I spent 8 days on the psych ward of CMC for severe clinical depression, OCD and a borderline personality disorder. I was liberated from all that by Christ. 10. I have a pretty sordid past (hence the mental disorders). But again, I was set free from all that bondage. 11. I hope and pray that all my kids go into some sort of full time ministry. 12. I want to lead one friend and one family member to the Lord this year. Maybe one of you! 13. I have a mystery brother. He’s a half brother I’ve never met, fathered by the father I’ve never met. It’s really weird. 14. I absolutely love to laugh. In fact, if I have to poke fun at myself to encourage those around me to laugh, I’ll do it in a heartbeat. 15. I love going to the movies. I enjoy the whole movie theater experience. 16. I’m the quintessential what you see is what you get kinda gal. I don’t put on any type of airs to “fit in”. You don’t like what you see, you can always walk away. 17. I tend to shoot from the hip far too often. Gets me into a lot of trouble. I’m getting better at it though. Or is it my aim is just getting better. 18. I hate living up to someone else’s preconceived ideas of who I should be and how I should act. 19. I don’t believe simply having a familial title (father, grandfather, aunt etc) should entitle you to anything; even respect. It should be earned. 20. I adore rock n roll music. But I know it’s not the right thing for me, so I reject it. Can’t sing praise to God from the same mouth your singing, “My Humps”. 21. I can’t stand a messy house. It makes my brain feel messy. 22. I can play the tin whistle, somewhat decently. 23. Some of the most interesting folks to be around are youth. Their potential is so inspiring. 24. Sandwiches are the world’s most perfect food. I could eat em breakfast, lunch and dinner. 25. I would prefer to have a few close good friends than 100’s of acquaintances.
Hello :) I just wanted to tell you what a lovely blog you have here. I do agree there is not enough help and support for boys out there in relation to mental illness. I will always be here to talk to your son if he needs someone. Have a lovely weekend and God bless ❤❤ xx
You are so incredibly kind. Thank you for reaching out to us. We always enjoy hearing from people. And thank you for recognizing that boys are pretty disenfranchised. We’re working on changing that!
So I’m on this little mission to encourage more openness and transparency in Vale. Believe it or not the kid is rather shy. People are drawn to him, in fact it’s kinda crazy sometimes, but he gets tongue tied and so he can struggle.
However, he’s insanely good looking. I know, I know I’m his mom, but seriously he is. We have been told, from probably 20 independent sources, that he should model.. Yeah… the anorexic boy should be thrust into that industry. I think not. He gets told he’s cutehothandsome no.. sexy. Can you believe that? It thrills me that peers at school refer to him as Sexy Vale (well, his real name which makes an alliteration, but you understand), my 16 year old. Yeah totes luvs. Read: stanky sarcasm!
My husband came home from work and reported that someone wrote on the equipment at his job (where Vale works) that “Vale is so sexxy”. I mean really? And the icing on the cake (and then yeah, I’ll get off this diatribe) his immediate superior told Vale that he should model for Calvin Klein, calls him Calvin and says, “you just have that appeal”. Sexual harassment anyone?
So back to the transparency. So you have all these good looks, people are naturally drawn to you… what are you going to do with it Vale? Open up, share your story.. bits of it, sure, slowly… one day at a time. People will listen. You can do more for your peers who are struggling, suffering and longing than perhaps their parents, teachers, doctors, shrinks, etc. Moreover, chronicling how God has worked in you, helping you heal, can do more good than we can even imagine. Makes me think of the televised debates of the Kennedy vs Nixon presidency. Kennedy, although not nearly as articulate or bright swept those debates because he was far better looking. There’s so much opportunity to whisper change into people’s lives. Resounding hope.
I’ll let you know if he bites. I dare say, for the first time, he’s really thinking about it.
You were broken, abandoned
And crying all alone
We were waiting and praying
And longing to bring you home
And then we saw your face
In a moment you were wrapped up in our hearts
We took a step of faith
And now here we are
Will you let me hold you in my arms tonight
I have come so far to find you
So far to find you
Will you take my love and give up the fight
I have come so far to find you
So far to find you
From a world away, I journeyed
Just to hold your hand
You will never be alone again
I’ve come so far to find you
So far to find you
You were fighting and fearful
You were hiding your heart away
But I was trying so hard to show you
‘Cause there were no words that I could say
If you could see my heart
You would know that all I want to do
Is care for you
Here in your eyes I see
Reflections of myself
How I’m the child that’s really running
But I can hear a voice (of God) that’s whispering my name
Saying come to me, don’t run from me
I’m all you need and I am calling
From Heaven’s throne
Down to a rugged cross I came
It was My love for you that brought Me all the way
So far to find you
So far to find you
You were broken, abandoned
And crying on your own.
Written by John Mark Hall, Stephen Curtis Chapman
When I heard it I thought of Vale… of how after 8 years later he still has distrust. I wonder, how long until he stops fighting and enjoys being safe.
Profound title is it not? Per Vale’s request WalkingThroughWithVale has been deleted. I apologize if that causes any inconvenience, he just felt he didn’t do enough on the blog and wanted it down for the time being. Perhaps one day, he’ll pick up a keyboard and start blogging again.
Yesterday is one of the first days that I’ve been able to open my eyes to progress. I am so thankful to our Heavenly Father for all his gifts, His goodness and His fingerprints all over Vale.
“Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul And sings the tune without the words And never stops at all.” ― Emily Dickinson
Never knew that fried chicken could change your outlook and inspire hope did you? Vale, out of the blue, told the family that for some reason he was craving fried chicken. If you know anything about anorexic behavior, you know that they don’t crave *anything*.
Needless to say that the moment the family got home from church, Payne hopped on that computer to find the closest KFC. A nearly mad scramble was made to obtain these nearly holy grail-esque poultry pieces.
“The problem is that you don’t just choose recovery. You have to keep choosing recovery, over and over and over again. You have to make that choice 5-6 times each day. You have to make that choice even when you really don’t want to. It’s not a single choice, and it’s not easy.”—
Hi, I found this a few blog a few minutes ago and I just wanted to say that I think your amazing for what your doing. I wish that my mother would help me as much as you do with your son. Anyway I figured you would like to hear a thank you, and honestly you deserve one. :)
Thank you so much for your kind words. I usually shy away form the word “deserve” because anything that I do is because God is so good to me, and that goes through me to others… at least most of the time.
I don’t know your mom, but often times I find moms just don’t know what to do. But if your mom isn’t there for you, find support somewhere because our God created you for a special and unique purpose. Don’t you want to find out what that is? <3
Everything is really confusing and overwhelming, and I'd like to burn myself some more, but I wont.
I’m glad you won’t… hurting yourself won’t make anything less confusing or overwhelming. It may help it disappear in the immediate, but it is still there on the horizon. Reach out, there is support to be found, often in the least likely of places. <3
“Yesterday, (Saturday), wasn’t a bad day. I woke up to the “Bug song” on the alarm on my phone. I forgot to turn it off the night before, maybe forgetting that the following day was saturday. We went out to Ollies, to get thank-you cards, and chapstick. (Winter in the Northeast really kills your lips) Then we went to Zumos (A coffee shop in the green ridge section of Scranton). I ordered cheese cake, with a cinnamon steamer. When we came home, I asked mom if I could go up to the park (Nay Aug) to take some more pictures for my Fall Shooting Assignment in my photography class in school. I did get some decent pictures, but mother nature decided to give the wyoming valley a crappy year for fall foliage. The park has beautiful trees,a nifty (maybe twenty feet high?) tree house, an awesome gorge, inspiring trails, and I don’t know how else to describe it, it’s beautiful. The only problem with the park is that it has a deserted zoo. A few years ago it had a cougar, but kids loved to bang on the (was it a cage, or glass?) and it annoyed the crap out of the poor thing. It kept pacing back and forth, back and forth, staring at the kids, like it wanted to claw them all up. To take a break about this thing, I’m sorry I have to write about this. My mom is pretty annoyed about the whole “Cougar” thing, where it is considered more acceptable for an older woman to date or have sex with a younger man, or boy, than it is for an older man to have sex with a younger women, or girl. I’m watching this episode of Numb3rs, and it’s about how this older 30 year old woman is using this 17 year old boy. There going around, killing people, stealing money, cars, etc. I’m not quite sure what the end game is, but it’s still upsetting. Why is it more acceptable for an older woman to have sex with boys, but not men to have sex with girls? I’m not saying I want men to have sex with girls, but it’s still upsetting. Seeing who society twists roles, and everything. My mom typed up on the internet yesterday something like “women sexually using boys” or whatever, and it came up with the top ten cougar movies. That’s celebrating statuotory rape. But when she looked up “men sexually using girls” (again, something like that) all it came up with was porn! People say, “oh that’s disgusting for men to have sex with girls!” but….it’s…ok for women to do that with boys? Sorry, THAT doesn’t make any sense. And people say and think that boys have dirtier minds than girls, (dirtier? Why?) I asked my mom about that and she because boys start thinking about sex and having it, and more, than girls do. And that’s true, but that doesn’t mean that boys are dirty. Sorry, I was kind of jumping around there. So, we were just fooling around on the rocks in Nay Aug park, pretending to fight like soldiers, like most boys do. And, there’s this cool little ridge near the path above the gorge, that has two eye holes, and they’re big enough, you can crawl in them. Anyways, they tried to charge me, but I took this really long branch and pretended to set it on fire, and threw it at them. So, one of my brothers blocked it and it bloodied up my finger. Like, pretty bad. Dark, royal, red blood covering my finger, and pouring onto the rock. I think it’s healing all right, but it still looks pretty red, and maybe a little swollen, I’m not sure. I’m going to stop talking so I can go back with my brothers, maybe even to see my blood is still there.
Also, in my last post I said that it’s een two weeks since I last cut, that was an error. What I meant to say was: I threw up a few weeks ago.
Also, I just wanted to add that, I believe Paterno should’ve been fired (like he has), but at the end of the season. Why not let him just finish the season. Yes, he does deserve to e fired, obviously, because he didn’t follow through like he should’ve, but I still believe that he should’ve been allowed to finish the couple of games that he hasleft. Love, Vale”—Walking Through With Vale: Blood Stains on a Rock
“My posts are few and far between, evidently! Maybe I should stop apologizing, maybe im jinxing myself.
I look at my old posts and feel like a different person. I mean, intellectually, I know, “that’s me”. But, I feel like I’ve come so far. And it’s hard to believe.
I’m having a little difficulty blogging right now. So much has happened recently. Maybe some basic updates:
This may be a little frightening to some people, as I have an eating disorder, but I joined track&field. Since I’ve been doing rather well with my eating, I have sort of gained more endurance, and strength. (I did 300 calf-raises with ten lb’s in each hand. And, NO, I’m not bragging about it :p )
I have private art lessons. Which is exciting, as i vastly enjoy art.
I rejoined Choral Society. Not as exciting, but still, important.
I joined Civil Air Patrol. It’s an Air Force Auxiliary. Honestly, the only reason I’m going is because it looks good on college and job applications. The weekly meetings are boring, but the events they hold are (im hoping) exciting, like encampment. Encampment sounds excruciatingly thrilling.
I have promised before hand that I would try and post more, but this time I mean it! If I don’t post within (at least) the next two weeks, you have permission to ask my mom to slap me. If this weren’t the internet, I would’ve given you permission to slap me. This is the internet. Ohhh well … :D
I’ll give more daily things like how track went, or how the “hottest girl in the tenth grade” wants my number. :P Again, so much has happened, and I have to think a bit in order to find out what to post. Our house looks gorgeous all redone and all. The floor is amazing. If I showed a picture of the floor before the flood and after, you would probably spit your coffee on your screen.
The walls are painted attractive colors, and we have refreshingly new furniture. However, the rest of town looks like a dump. I swear every block there is a house that has been torn down, or needs to be. Every third house is for sale. Every other house abandoned.
Okay, those statistics may not add up, but my point is proven. If a person had not been here previously, the whole town would look like white trash.
Oh, I guess this is important. A couple weeks ago was my second birthday. aka, the day I showed my arms (last year) to my mom, the day after valentines. We celebrated by eating Mexican. Just kidding. We celebrated by making those Pandora Project “I am —-” posters. And I also submitted something to speak for RAINN. We did have Mexican though. So, that was a successful, progressive day. Again, I will try and post as much as possible Love Vale”—Walking Through With Vale: My Apologies
“I did a rather difficult thing today. I did an interview. I was extremely nervous about it before-hand. I was worried I wouldn’t know how to answer questions, if they were going to be uncomfortable, or if I didn’t straight out know how to answer them. Thankfully, the interviewer and camera guy calmed me down by acting very friendly, and calm. They told me If I felt uncomfortable answering any questions I could just signal that I didn’t want to. God blessed my tongue, because I answered all of them fine, I think!
Now, the aftermath has been a little strange. It reminds me of my speech last year, I felt drained. Physically tired, but mostly emotionally tired. I’m still coming off my high, and I think it’s going to take a while. I actually went outside the window, and sat down. Looked at the mountains, or big hills.. whatever they are, and the trees, and the sun dying down. Just to try and get in control, or find some kind of peace or calming feeling.
(By the way, mom, don’t kill me when you read this) Guys, I might not technically be allowed to go out on the roof XD
Anyways, my hips are doing okay. I fractured them before during track, just in case nobody knows. The process is apparently taking longer than it would with most people because of my eating. Since my body isn’t getting enough nutrients, it is pulling calcium and energy from other bones to heal the hip. “So, if you don’t eat, and your hips don’t get enough nutrients (calcium, vitamin c, protein) you won’t heal, and then you won’t be able to compete in track anymore””—Walking Through With Vale: Interview
I am not a boy. I am a girl. I'm seventeen, and I have three of Vale's diagnosis's. I am also a cutter, and suffer from Dermatillomania. I don't want to overstep any boundaries. I don't want to say I understand anything your son is going through. But my oldest older brother is Paranoid Schizophrenic. My sister has PTSD and can't eat sometimes. And I'm destroying my mother ever day, I know, when she sees my arms. So I'm reading your words, to understand you as a woman, as a mother, like mine.
I hope that you find my blog helpful? As a parent is is extremely painful to watch your child suffer so much. On the other hand, being there for him now gives me hope that he’ll have a full life later. It’s a small price to pay.